Privacy Please
by theyneverhaveanextractionplan
Summary: … Or 5 times they got walked in on and one time they didn't even notice. SEXUAL CONTENT (nothing too descriptive) and foul language.
1. Chapter 1

**Privacy Please**  
**… Or 5 times they got walked in on and one time they didn't even notice.**  
**By: theyneverhaveanextractionplan**  
**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these perfect characters…** **if I did, the things I would make them do… ;)**

1). Steve  
Steve was on his way to the gym, and something wasn't right. He always saw Clint and Natasha sparring in the gym, unless they were on a mission. He squinted up against the glass and frowned, something's not quite right, he thought. He couldn't see a damn thing through the small view point and decided to go in and make sure they were ok. When he opened the door he heard some odd noises.

"Don't-" there was a very loud grunt, "stop, baby, oh oh oh oooooooooooh!" Steve frowned at the feminine voice and manly grunts that followed.

"Tash-" grunt, "you're so fucking tight," grunt, moan, feminine yelp. This was definitely not normal, what on earth was happening in that gym? To most, it would be blatantly obvious that they were fucking, but to Steve Rogers it most certainly was not.

"Clint? Natasha? Is everything alright? I heard some noises and I-" his eyes went wide and his face went red, his jaw dropped a bit and then he quickly covered his eyes. There on the sparring mats, was Clint laying down and Natasha on top of him. Both stark naked (ahaha stark get it? ;p) and panting. "I am so sorry! I had no idea! I just thought-"

"Steve," Clint groaned.

"Yeah?"

"Get. Out."

"Oh! Right! Sorry, I just got caught up with my rambling and-"

"STEVE!" Natasha yelled. He ran out the door apologies spewing out of his mouth the entire way out. Natasha looked down at Clint and smirked, the equivalent to the shit eating grin on Clint's face. They looked at each other, with something that wasn't love, but more. It was love, lust, scars, and a lifetime of secrets that no one knew but them. Steve smiled at that look, he had seen it when he came back to close the door. They were meant to be, and he would keep this to himself.

"I bet he's a virgin," Clint said nonchalantly as if there wasn't a naked, Russian assassin laying on him, and they weren't just having a moment. She smacked his head and they both stood up and went to the showers to finish up what they had started on the mats. He grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder, in a fireman's hold and even though she protested he knew she loved at much as he did. Especially because if she didn't like it, he would've been dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except this story.

2). Thor (and Jane)  
Thor sat contently on the lavish couch in Avengers Tower, with Jane snuggled next to him texting Darcy. He was covered with dust and filth, and she didn't care. She was glad he was safe, from the gruesome battle the Avengers had just fought. The elevator dinged and there was a…giggle? Thor and Jane turned to see a bandaged up Clint and Natasha, running to their room. They were gone in a blink. Before Jane could stop him, Thor ran after them to see what the matter was.  
"Thor! Leave them alone! They might be-" She threw her head back against the couch with a groan, and then jumped up to run after them. Even as a God, Thor could be denser than a tree sometimes.  
"HEY!" Clint shouted, there was sheets moving, and the sound of a gun being loaded. Jane ran faster. When she got to the two assassin's bedroom she saw a sight that made her fall to ground in a heap of laughter. There on the bed was Thor, who had tackled a naked Clint. And a naked Natasha, under the sheets with her pistol out and pointed at Thor. When she started to laugh, everyone's head turned towards her. It was a perfect moment to take a picture.  
"What are you doing Thor?" Jane asked when she finally could breathe.  
"The Eye of Hawk, was attacking Lady Natasha. I was simply ordering him to desist," he explained innocently.  
"I most definetly was not hurting her," Clint said in a cocky, that made Natasha elbow him, with the gun still held in her hands, "What baby, you sayin' I was?" his hint of a California accent (just think of how Jeremy Renner says "party" during his speech at Scar's star ceremony) actually made the Black Widow turn into a puddle of goo, though he was pretty sure that he was the only one who knew that. She lowered her gun slowly, and placed it on the bedside table. And then without sparing Thor or Jane a second look she promptly attacked the archer's lips.  
Jane pulled Thor off of their bed and pushed him out the door. When she turned to close the door she heard Clint mutter something to Natasha, that sounded a lot like, "I love you, Tash." though Jane would never be sure. She smiled as she walked away and thought, they deserve each other.  
Once the door was closed Clint rolled onto Natasha and muttered, "I love you, Tash," and kissed her softly.  
"Love is for children," she breathed back.  
"I am a child," he said the look of love and truth in his eyes, contradicting the dirty, fast, and hard movements of his hand below her waist.  
"I am too," she said simply. Their kisses getting hotter and faster. Jane had been right, they did deserve each other.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Marvel ain't mine.

3). Bruce  
Bruce couldn't sleep, for whenever he closed his eyes flashes of the time he attacked Natasha on the helicarrier were all he saw. Well not him per say, but still. Even all these months later he couldn't shake the feeling that he would lose his control and hurt one of his teammates.  
He stood up and wandered out of his room, clad in his favorite ratty old sweats, the prospect of getting some sleep was out of the picture. He found himself walking towards the kitchen, pondering the thought of how surreal his life was now. He was part of the Avengers. A team, not just Bruce and the others, but Bruce and the Other Guy.

His deep thoughts are what made him oblivious to the sight in front of him, until he was literally right in front of it. There on the counter top was Natasha and Clint. Clint was eating something that most certainly was not food. "Oh my- Holy-" he spluttered freezing on the spot. Natasha turned and looked at Bruce, she opened her mouth but orgasmed loudly before she could say anything. Clint stood and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Hey big guy, what's up?" Clint said nonchalantly.

"Uh..."

"If you say a word about this I'll kill you." he said so casually that it was even scarier.

"I already know where to bury him," Natasha added.

"Goodnight." they both said in sync and went to their room. Bruce sighed, there went his sleep for the rest of the year. He shuddered and then went to his lab, planning on hiding out there until this all blew over. Clint and Natasha never did have to kill Bruce though, his lips were sealed.

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